The holidays can be hard.

Plan your 15-minute escape. Choose something you can do anytime and plan how you’ll explain it (store run, getting fresh air, etc.).

Set a time limit and announce it when you arrive. Have another obligation ready and say something like, “I’m so glad to be here! I can only stay [time limit] because [your reason].”

Pivot tough conversations to positive memories. Come ready with favorite games, old photos and funny family stories to steer tense conversations toward what you both love to remember and do together.

Stick with a support person. If there’s someone in your family who you trust or get along with, ask them to pull you out of situations that get stressful.

Break your to-do list down into smaller tasks. Tackle something you can easily do right now and check that off the list.

Give yourself permission to prioritize activities that bring you joy and be okay if other things fall by the wayside.

Plan some get-togethers for after the holidays so there’s less pressure to spend time with everyone now.

Schedule a regular, 10-minute call with someone. It helps ease loneliness and it’s something to look forward to.

Use the holiday season as an excuse to reach out. Say something like, “I know it’s been a while, but I’m trying to check in with people before the end of the year. Are you free to catch up next week?”.

Volunteer. If you’re up to it, this can be a great way to meet like-minded people.

Spend time around animals. Studies show just being around animals makes us feel better. If you don’t have a pet, take a friend’s dog for a walk. Or ask your local animal shelter if they have a playtime or fostering program.

Wrap up coupons for “skills gifts”. Offer to fix something or teach someone something you’re good at.

Suggest a gift exchange. You could say, “Everything costs more right now. We’re all feeling that. Let’s make it easier on ourselves and try a Secret Santa or white elephant this year.”

Set a holiday budget and don’t allow yourself to spend beyond it. You could even take out cash, put it in an envelope, and make that the only money you’re allowed to spend on holiday activities.

Write down the things that make you feel that you have a full, satisfying life. Then make a plan to get more of those things, rather than what others have.

Plan to protect yourself from social media comparisons. (1) intentionally search for specific accounts or topics that make you feel good, instead of getting caught up in suggested content (2) temporarily unfollow accounts that tempt you to compare yourself (3) make a list of things to do instead of scrolling.

Remind yourself not to judge whatever emotions come up and not to fake feeling “fine” or “happy.”

Give yourself permission to not celebrate this year if you don’t feel up to it.

You can choose to still honor traditions you had with those you’ve lost. or make new traditions to honor them.